Hi, I hope that anyone reading this didn't think that I'd upped and died after my last post being months ago! (probably the wrong turn of phrase but it's late and I'm tired!) I didn't die, and I did manage to get through my exam. In fact I managed to get through my end of year exams as well and ended up with a solid 2:1 :) Very exciting.
I'm now at home for the summer holidays, and a few things have made my anxiety flare up again:
1) My doctor is in Scotland, and whilst I can have phone appointments, it is somehow not the same! I don't trust other doctors to diagnose me properly either :(
2) My boyfriend is also in Scotland and I can only sleep properly if someone else is sleeping next to me, because otherwise I worry I will stop breathing in the night or someone will murder me. And I can only wake my mum and sister up in the night so many times!
So, this has led to numerous nights following the same rough pattern as tonight. Can't sleep...go on internet to keep busy....look at news article/take a health test/watch a hospital programme...convince self of symptoms...google...panic....CAN'T SLEEP.
Fun times or what! Tonight I'm worried about my heart rate. Apparently my heart rate is low (according to a test I just did) at just 54 beats per minute when resting. And I'm also always tired and feeling faint...two symptoms that occur when a low heart rate can suggest a deeper medical problem. So tomorrow morning I will be phoning my local surgery to get a doctors appointment and then getting a phone appointment with my normal doctor to double check.
*sigh* and I so wanted to go shopping....
Hi I just came across your blog via No more panic, I too am an anxiety and panic attack fighter, I know you posted this in June so I am a bit late but Well done to you for getting a 2:1 from uni not many people with anxiety/panic manage to do so a big thumbs up to you for that.
ReplyDeleteKeep up with the blog its really good.
Lilyloopsy. x